Quran, Hijab, Womens rights, Ramadan, Morals and Ethics, Islam has all the answers

During Ramadan 25th April 2022 I prayed my first Salat at fajr, I became a Muslim. I didn’t know though so I went to mosque 24th June 2022 and took Shahada at my local mosque, Masjid al-Taqwa

It’s two months away (2023) and i’m excited, anxious and nervous. Mostly excited though.

Life is peaceful Alhamdulillah, no matter how bad life gets i’m at peace. It’s not complete bliss honestly but it’s also not entirely depressing either. Life has more meaning to it, purposeful & prosperous even if you have nothing.

I was a Christian.

Some have been supportive, some have struggled. With every bit of information they learn about Islam through me they react differently. If they can understand it they’re supportive, if they feel confronted or threatened they struggle to accept it or cannot handle the exposure so they freeze or get defensive.

Family’s support and acceptance of my new boundaries.

The more you learn the more confident you will feel in your deen. Learn at your pace. I’m finding Islam is easy for me, but it’s not easy for the people around me. Esp when they’re from my old life. Find ways to stay connected with those who are trying to accept you.

As a Samoan woman, first born and eldest of her line, I was raised to be very masculine. Toxic home meant I was very protective, because I had no protection. I had to be stronger because I was facing double standards as a girl in my family, then as a brown girl in society. I existed because my parents made me and my purpose was to tend to my family’s every need. I fought for everything I had because I gave so much of myself to others but nobody would be able to give me a future. By the time I became a woman and could choose my own life I didn’t know how to do it. I was lost. I kept getting getting hurt by the world. I lost my innocence and I became angry and spiteful. I didn’t want to be though but that’s what happens when you have no guidance and no help in the world. You get lost in it. I couldn’t recognise myself in the mirror. It scared me. My heart was always soft towards Islam and Muslims. I couldn’t explain it. When I came across the Quran, Surah al Fatiha pierced my heart like lightning. I got a shock and closed the Quran immediately. I put it back on my shelf to try forget it again. Soon after the thunder followed and I heard about Islam. The more I learnt the more fond I grew of the religion. I can’t remember when my mind changed but a time came when I wanted to be a muslim. I cried to mother that I wanted to be a muslim. I wanted my family’s support so much that it held me back for a bit. I kept waiting for everyone’s blessing expecting for them to support me as easily as a new hobby. The day came where I had the chance to to go to Jummah by myself to see how I felt. By the time I took Shahada, I had to let go of anyone’s blessing to begin my life. Islam allowed me to be free. Free in body, soul and mind. I have never been able to look back since. I’m now living for Allah swt as best I can and Allah swt was always and is still protecting me. Allah swt has given my life more purpose and meaning and I’m prospering because of it Alhamdulillah. For example I feel more feminine now because of hijab. Insha’Allah i’ll forever be shaded by Allah swt mercy and grace. Insha’Allah we will all be. Ameen.